My family portrait has changed. My dad,Wil, passed away on February 14, 2009. My family portrait will never again include him, although he will always be with us. My dad had been suffering for some time, he had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease which was caused from emphysema which was caused from years of smoking & working in an aluminum plant. COPD did not allow my dad to breath on his own, he was on 24/7 oxygen, his skin was like tissue paper due to years of taking prednisone, he no longer left the house other than the occasional doctor's visit, and he was in constant discomfort. The amazing thing is that he never complained once, I know he was disappointed that he was not able to golf anymore, he was sad that he couldn't play catch with his grand kids anymore, he wished he & mom could take one more trip to the Oregon Coast, but never a negative word. We are all so thankful that he is suffering no more~he has gone home to Heaven and is with Jesus~there he is whole, at peace and maybe even golfing. The fact that he is no longer struggling is such a comfort, but it does not mean that there is no sadness, it comes in rolling waves, a sudden thought that I no longer have a dad reduces me to tears, but it is soon replaced by the joy of knowing he can breathe again and that this isn't good-bye, but a see ya'later.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Family Portrait
My family portrait has changed. My dad,Wil, passed away on February 14, 2009. My family portrait will never again include him, although he will always be with us. My dad had been suffering for some time, he had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease which was caused from emphysema which was caused from years of smoking & working in an aluminum plant. COPD did not allow my dad to breath on his own, he was on 24/7 oxygen, his skin was like tissue paper due to years of taking prednisone, he no longer left the house other than the occasional doctor's visit, and he was in constant discomfort. The amazing thing is that he never complained once, I know he was disappointed that he was not able to golf anymore, he was sad that he couldn't play catch with his grand kids anymore, he wished he & mom could take one more trip to the Oregon Coast, but never a negative word. We are all so thankful that he is suffering no more~he has gone home to Heaven and is with Jesus~there he is whole, at peace and maybe even golfing. The fact that he is no longer struggling is such a comfort, but it does not mean that there is no sadness, it comes in rolling waves, a sudden thought that I no longer have a dad reduces me to tears, but it is soon replaced by the joy of knowing he can breathe again and that this isn't good-bye, but a see ya'later.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Keeping It Real.
Being real is so much harder than I would think..it is so easy to slip into superficial relationships that don't require work or even in conversation to reply that everything is good when it is not, because surely people don't want a truthful answer to that question right? I mean everyone has their own messes going on. That being said I have been making an effort at being real with people the last few months and Facebook went and screwed it all up.
There is a survey going around on Facebook where you are supposed to list 25 random things and post it for others to see...I followed directions and w/out really thinking about my random things I made a list quickly one day and that was that. I continued to think about my list long after I had posted it, or as my husband would tell you I continued to obsess over it, because I think I failed in being real, I mean who really cares whether I like to fill out forms or not, I feel like I wasted a perfectly good opportunity to share with old & new friends alike some insight into who I truly am, and also missed an opportunity to bring glory to God for how far his grace has brought me from my Really Messy past.
In the current Beth Moore, Esther, study I am doing she said today that "One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny will be transparency", because who can really testify if they can't identify with others. I hope to take this opportunity to remind myself that any situation, no matter how trivial, may be a chance to be more real with people and to share what God is doing in my life. I would love some accountability in this and who knows I might just amend my 25 Random Things.
There is a survey going around on Facebook where you are supposed to list 25 random things and post it for others to see...I followed directions and w/out really thinking about my random things I made a list quickly one day and that was that. I continued to think about my list long after I had posted it, or as my husband would tell you I continued to obsess over it, because I think I failed in being real, I mean who really cares whether I like to fill out forms or not, I feel like I wasted a perfectly good opportunity to share with old & new friends alike some insight into who I truly am, and also missed an opportunity to bring glory to God for how far his grace has brought me from my Really Messy past.
In the current Beth Moore, Esther, study I am doing she said today that "One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny will be transparency", because who can really testify if they can't identify with others. I hope to take this opportunity to remind myself that any situation, no matter how trivial, may be a chance to be more real with people and to share what God is doing in my life. I would love some accountability in this and who knows I might just amend my 25 Random Things.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Small Steps
Yesterday my friend Carmen & I had a talk about approaching life w/small steps which was based off of the sermon at our church this past weekend. It got me to thinking about my yard. I am totally intimidated by my yard-It is huge. There are trees, grass, hills, front, back, and I have no idea what to do with it. All of the women in my family were blessed with green and I mean green thumbs except for me. I can mow with the best of them, but that is about the extent of it. I have wanted to start a vegetable garden for a few years, and every spring comes & goes w/out me starting a garden due to various excuses, but I have only just realized that it hasn't happened because I am intimidated by the very thought. But in thinking about small steps there is hope...there is no reason why I have to tear up half of my yard to make a magnificent garden full of items that my family may not even eat. Thus, I have decided that the much needed small step in this case would be to start with one raised bed and go from there-that sounds doable.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Why does our family need another blog?
I feel slightly self-absorbed starting another blog in this household, but to be honest I kind of started to take over http://www.royce5000.blogspot.com/, which was Roy's photography blog to begin with. Initially there would be a photo or two of Levi & I, then I would want to make a post myself, and as of late I have really struggled with it not being very pretty and since Roy sees nothing wrong with the color gray I had no choice but to start up another blog. Besides, I like to write, and having a blog of my own would allow me to feel more comfortable to convey my thoughts and opinions of being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, homemaker, and follower of Jesus. So, I hope you will check in from time to time to hear about what stop we are on in our journey....I have recently only begun to embrace the idea of a journey, they previously seemed like too much work and often took place outside of my comfort zone, but they seem to be the best vehicle for lasting change so now besides enjoying the journey I want to learn to love the journey.
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